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02 Mar 2004

my crazy life
Dear Cybershrink
My husband is dying and you, as well as his doctor, have already advised me to get the hospice involved with his care. My husband’s erratic behaviour makes it very difficult to do this. I don’t know what to do anymore. My husband's doctor wants to hospitalise him for pain control, but he doesn’t want to go. I’m powerless, an incompetent fool, the quarry of a very ill person, who likes to play cruel mind games. I never know what to expect. I'm hanging onto my sanity by my fingertips, taking medicine to keep me from totally loosing my mind.

No one per se has told me not to post any messages, but I’m surprised I haven’t been banned from this forum yet. I’ve studied psychology and my interest in the questions and replies on this forum have lead to my downfall. I’ve posted some really disgraceful messages last year. Ghia, thanks for the offer, but as for corresponding with anyone, I’d rather not. I’m suicidal half of the time, and might just say something better left alone.
Answer 498 views

01 Jan 0001

Dear png,
The last thing you are, is any sort of incompetent fool, trying to cope with an impossible situation. You're only an ordinary superwoman, and can't do more than your best. Sadly, while some of us rise to the challenge of terminal illness and become more saintly and loving, others of us, due to pain and perhaps fury at feeling trapped in the situation, cvan become very nasty indeed. And some forms of terminal illness also screw up our internal cemistry, and can make us mildly delirious, or worse, which worsens the situation still further.
I still don';t see why the hospice can't help --- they ought to provide for home care and home visits --- their doctor could visit, and talk to your husband about his pain and other symptoms, and offer revised symptom treatment to make him more comfortable --- very few people would want to refuse such an offer ! And i may be that as some of the components of such good symtom relief could include tranquillizrs, his mind could become clearer and kinder.
And the real png is not going to be banned from the forum, where we welcome you and your postings on your real dilemmas.
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