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08 Dec 2004

my immortal
Dear Hell,

I’d like to say I’m over u, but ‘m not, I’d like to say I met someone new but I havent’…

I’d like to say I’m getting out and havin a great time but I can’t… u already know I’m smoked up, dopped up and going mad, how sad …pray for liberation from what we had…

Last night my relative reality met the world with a bang… I didn’t want to believe it but u know me better…

found ur CD’s in the player… it was one of ur brothers mix and a few others… fate guided my hand to chamber no 5… remember that’s how much older u r 2 me… but what is age when love sets everythin free…

skipped through the tracks and then sat on no12… it’s December, u left me same time last year do u remember…

The song that played told me how it was and how it is, a song u used to listen 2, did u leave it for me, to remind me of subjective reality… did u leave knowin how long it would b for someone like myself to forgive someone like u for the way u treated me, for the life we sacrificed to make the life we had, the work it involved, were u void of the standin together and fallin divided, were u listenin when I confided, I listened to u, I heard u well, did u even care about anyone else but urself…

I 2 have a choice and wish only the best for u and for me now, I can say I wish the best for me now as there is no longer the drain of my life force that took up all the attention and focus of my being… I am left wounded but knowing better, I am weak but growin stronger, I don’t hear abusive voices any longer… only time will heal… time the divine, the meter of my life line, the division between physical and spiritual… the rhythm of soul still beats but ever so silent…

the song, the words … reminded me that I am not yet free, I still live though the day with a part of u… the tears flowed strong as the music grew loud…


my immortal
I’m so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I’d fight away all of your fears
and I’ve held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now I’m bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I’d fight away all of your fears
and I’ve held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
and though you're still with me
I’ve been alone all along
Answer 396 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hi Dude,
As everyone says, you have a talented heart, and talent in expressing yourself. This uncomfortable phase will pass, and, as you say, you will be stronger for healing this apparent episode of weakness.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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