Ask an expert

05 Feb 2013

My life sucks!!!!!!
I have no idea how I ended up here. 46, had an awesome job, love life perfect, Dad alive, amazing daughter ... Then I met him. Business is in my name he runs it (it is picking up), we have been together 2 years, because of a business partner and the company in my name, I was forced to resign from my job (even though the CEO knew the company was in my name and he had no problem with this). The partner of his is now suing ME for money he apparently put in the business, going to court in March. My boyfriend tells me not to worry about it. THis is now our second month we have not been able to pay bills, yet he has the money to buy stock and to go to the pub every night (this is his lunch time) and spend R100 a night. I was independent I was supporting my daughter and myself, my ITC record was brilliant, now I am in the red so badly. My boyfriend and I had no sex for the past 20 months because of his stress. And I asked him to clarify our relationship to me, first answer he can''t second answer we are friends. He uses my car for the technician to go out. My daughter has to sit and wait for the boyfriend to get her. This really makes me angry, today our sales lady has to take me to go get her at school, this really really makes me & $%# mad. He is always in his office, even when his daughter comes around every second weekend he ignores her, I have to take care of her. I am starting to dislike her because of him. My daughter is 13 and oh hell is she a teenager. I could say from hell but she is not that bad. I confiscated her cell phone, now I am the worst o=mother around, I took it because she is more on the damn thing then her homework. When we talk about the business the boyfriend tells me " We are doing this for Us"  I would ask him why am I here, what am I doing, again he just talks about the business and i know it is his dream. I don''t get any appreciation or recognition from him. Today we had VIP clients in front of me he would introduce the sales lady to the people and totally ignore me, yet I have to make the coffee. I am so angry at the moment my heart just wants to stop (oh I have a heart condition, didn''t pay medical aid, can''t go to cardiologist for my routine check-up). Everything seems to be all about him. I am stuck int he house 24/7, where i use to go out work, have a social life, enjoy life, now I am here, no car, no life. My dad passed away in may last year, in June I was forced to resign. I am so stuck in this business and house that I can''t even go to my mom to support her, she always has to come to me or moan on the phone. I had enough. I need to get out of here. I started looking for a job, it is a start. I HATE MY LIFE SO MUCH AT THIS MOMENT THAT I CAN''T GIVE A DAMN WHAT HAPPENS TO HIM OR THE BUSINESS, but i can''t walk away everything is on my name, the car the accounts every thing you can think of because he was liquidated years ago. How do I stay sane, how do I get through each day without seriously doing something like breaking all the dishes in the kitchen. I use to be so proud of who I was, now I lost my femininity, my womanhood, my confidence. II turned into a slop, I am so inferior to people. Each morning I force myself to get dressed and put make-up on, today is day two, i did it. Why did I fall for his fake charm? II am so fed-up with the pretense that all is well between us with family. I just want it all to be out in the open. He is also fighting custody for his daughter that the aunt took away when the mom passed away saying it was the mothers wish that she stays with the aunt. I have to force him to do things with the case, but no more, slowly I am with drawing from him his life. I am going to start doing what I want with my life. Damn I am not even married to him, thank goodness. I am just so fed-up at the moment, and if I don''t tell somebody I am going to explode. See you reading this because you are the only social life I have. F.... my life suck so much.
Answer 409 views

01 Jan 0001

The legal issues sound complex, and you surely need good legal advice on this, and the comany in your name should be able to pay for this.
Yes, it makes no sense if your man can't pay the family bills, but can waste money at a pub or buy shares not needed right now.
As you're in financial troubles, surely sending a technician out ( presumably earning money for the firm ) is far more important than your daughter going out for fun on a date ?
I gather he has a daughter of his own from a previous relationship, as well as one with you ? ( or yours from a previous relationship ) l but it sounds as though he's not much of a good dad to either of them.
For the kids cellphones, there is no constitutional right to a cellphone, let alone to unlimited use of one. Let her have an allowance of R 30 airtime a month, and if she wants more she must take a part-time job to earn more to pay for it. Parents to not have to pay formendless phone gossip, especially when the kids will see each other at school and chat in the old-fashioned way - live !
Sounds like you're wise to look for another job, so long as you'll have a way of getting to and from work. Maybe you need good legal advice - if everything is in your name, surely you have the right to decide how it is used, even to close the business ? And the profits are yours, as are the debts.
Is this the best of times for him to spend money fighting for custody of his daughter if she is content with her aunt ?
I'm frightened to think I am "the only social life you have" - gosh !
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.