Ask an expert
Question

15 Jul 2005

My problem
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. I do struggle with my past, what can i do to forget about it?
Answer 663 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

So long as papa wasn't aiming to charge a copyright fee whenever we used a Question mark ? And what was his position on Chlamydia ?
Sounds like you'd enjoy my current favourite movie, just out on DVD, the brilliantly quirky French cartoon The Triplets of Bellsize ? Unforgettable theme music, and ahh, those frog dinners !
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
33% - 9362 votes
No
67% - 19328 votes
Vote