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09 Oct 2009

nasty people and coments
I was reading about the lady who is in love with the ex and i think it is really terrible that people are being so nasty. While I agree with being straight forward and honest there is no need to be ugly and hurtful. people who post are confused and need advice. Not forgetting that her husband also cheated on her, which has added to her state of mind. Cruel comments just make the rest of us afraid to post our feelings here. Advise, dont insult.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Cheating on a cheater, if that is what one ends up doing, is never wise. And presumably ( and to judge by her comment that the breakup with her ex was nasty ) she had very good reasons for breaking up with that ex in the first place. Problems in her marriage may tempt her to overlook that, but she could be jumping out of a cool frying pan into a really hot fire. As many readers are in the position of having someone they love tirn to an ex, they may be commenting on the basis of their own experience, rather than seeking to avoid upsetting her. And often, here, sadly, we get messages from people who are happy about breaking up their own mariage ( with kids and a faithful spouse ) and the marriage of someone else ( also with kids and an innocent spouse ) and such cases probably deserve some of the fierce criticism they receive
What people often complain about isn't that other readers' comments are actually cruel, but unwelcome --- yet such a forum reminds people of how most other people in their lives will be responding, even if those others don't say it to their face. It's worth taking into account the likely impact of one's choices.
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