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04 Jan 2005

Need advice on not being stressed when I am not with my boyfriend-due to rejection anxieties.
Please give me advice on not being anxious when I am not with my boyfriend. I was cheated on horribly in my previous relationship, now when I don’t see my new boyfriend for even a day I am stressed and anxious. Even when he visits family I am stressed. I blame my previous boyfriend of this problem I have now. I cannot help feeling this way. and I don’t want to tell my current boyfriend how badly I was lied to and cheated on, because I don’t want him to feel he has to deal with it because it is not his problem.

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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hi light,
Clearly, at least part of this is due to an understandable but troublesome over-reaction to your previous experience of being "cheated on horribly". ANd this is not merely uncomfortable, but this combination of low self-esteem and excessive anxiety can in itself damage any relationship, making you seem too clinging and needy, like the swimmer in difficulties who strangles the lifeguard. Personal counselling could help you to have more self-confidence, and to be much less desperate, and thus more secure within relationships. DO talk with him about it, so he can understand the situation, and not misinterpret your reactions.
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