Ask an expert
Question

28 Nov 2005

Need some positive advise
Hi there CyberShrink and any other

Hope you would take time and reply to my post

Where can I start... Last year around Nov/Dec.. I met a guy at my work. We had a short fling if you may call it.. We kissed once or twice.. This guy was not even the type of guy I would want to have a relationship with.. at that moment I just felt his compliments and all flaffing over me making me feeling like a goddess.. well that was something I needed, and unfortunately I must state that at the time I was engaged to another man.. anywayz.. my fiancee has the type of work that he s always away on business trips, or at that time he was away most of the time, and sometimes ended up drinking with business partners and not calling me back at night.. and I would only hear from him in the morning.. Even though I trust him, and know he would never hurt me, I love him with all my heart and don t know why I did what I did, I just thank God I never slept with this man (from my work) .. a short while after this fling, I told the guy to stop sending me messages (cos he left our company the same month).. I told him to break contact with me becoz of the fact that I love my fiancee and didnt actually feel anything for this man and wanted my relationship to work... Well now, it a year later and Im married to my fiancee and expecting our first baby... Things have changed a lot .. Our relationship is better then what it was last year, no fight or arguments.
I would not want to tell my husband what happened, for I love him, and don t want to hurt him... I want to focus on our marriage and make it as perfect as can be and be all that he wants me to be... But how do I do this? Right now I feel very depressed... And hate myself so much, for what I ve done, I wish I could turn back time, although I try not to feel this way... for Im carrying our little baby.. I even went to see our priest at church, which helped a lot ... I still can t forgive myself... Its one mistake I made, that I ve learned big deal of.. for I m feeling regret everyday, and can t find any good in myself, I judge myself for everything.. I know I will NEVER in my life make such a mistake again.. NEVER.. I know some people would probably have no pitty for me, I m just asking if anyone can help me feel better - to move on with my life and forget about the past.. And make my marriage work, and have a healthy baby..

Thank you

Take care xxx


Answer 399 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

You do sound as though you're making mountains out of molehills. What you did, acording to your description, wasn't admirable, but it wasn't terrible either, and is something you really should be able to move on from, and forget, and get on with developing you marriage and motherhood. If this is indeed the only mistake you have made, you're doing better than most. Now get over it
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
33% - 9364 votes
No
67% - 19336 votes
Vote