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Question
22 Jul 2005
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Need to end relationship
I really need advice here. I am a 46 year old man (divorced) who has been in a relationship with a partner 10 years my junior, for 7 months, who has never been married. I am beginning to feel the relationship being very strained. I do nt think of her 24/7. She thinks of me 24/7. She loves me so much and I can't give the same love back to her. She loves pda (publc display of affection) feel uncomfortable with it. She is highly sexed, I am happy with the three times a week routine.
When we met I just felt we had so much in common. It was new. Everything we did together we enjoyed doing. Activity partners.
There are differences.
She wants kids, I got kids. Both in their teens. She wants marriage, I've been there the pain was too much. All the things she wants in this relationship are things things I've done and don't want or need to do again. I just feel that in order for me to stop being so selfish I need to end this relationship.
How am I going to do this. She is so sweet and I just feel so guilty and I know that by ending it I will hurt her so much. Please just advise me on this one. I neecd out!
When we met I just felt we had so much in common. It was new. Everything we did together we enjoyed doing. Activity partners.
There are differences.
She wants kids, I got kids. Both in their teens. She wants marriage, I've been there the pain was too much. All the things she wants in this relationship are things things I've done and don't want or need to do again. I just feel that in order for me to stop being so selfish I need to end this relationship.
How am I going to do this. She is so sweet and I just feel so guilty and I know that by ending it I will hurt her so much. Please just advise me on this one. I neecd out!
CyberShrink
Sounds like you two are partly compatible, but with very significant differences on maters that really mater to each of you. Try relationship counselling to explore whether these differences can be bridged or not. I think your story illustrates well some of the potential areas of difficulty in relationships, not so much between people of different age, but different levels of maturity an differing in life experience and the stage of life at which they are.
As others suggest, she needs to clearly understand these significant differences, and with the option of counselling, to explore whether they are surmountable, or at least to enable you each to learn enough from this experience to be better able to form more matching relationships with others.
As others suggest, she needs to clearly understand these significant differences, and with the option of counselling, to explore whether they are surmountable, or at least to enable you each to learn enough from this experience to be better able to form more matching relationships with others.
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