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17 Feb 2004

Need to tell...
There is no reason I am saying this I just needed to tell someone . My boyfriend & I broke up about 3months ago. We both went on with our lives, well he did (got a new girlfriend). The problem that I have is even though time is healing my wounds I am still hurt, it still feels like the day it happened and I still miss him terribly. I made peace with the idea that him and I will never get back together and even though he asked me to stay his friend, how can I do that without asking myself, why am I punishing myself like this? He broke up with me and apparently his new girlfriend is not all that she was made up to be. His family hates her, she is a bit of a prima donna. Does not do anything but sit on her back side and just order everybody around and she does not speak to them (his family) at all. His sister says that he is miserable. She asks me to phone him as I am one of the only people that he actually listens to and when I do he sounds completely numb. I cannot even say when was the last time I saw him smile or heard him laugh. I dont want him to go through this, but I also cannot always be there for him because we broke up and moved on. Even though we broke up I cannot see myself with someone else, at least not now. I go out as often as possible and when a guy approaches me I cannot help to think of him even though I know he might not be missing me at all. I mingle to no avail. One more thing I need to know is when a guy breaks up with you and he finds a new love, somewhere along the line does he miss me at all or is he as numb to pain as the day that he dumped me? It may sound like I am throwing myself a pity-party but I dont feel the need for someone to need and love me. Is wanting to be on my own wrong or is it my way of healing because if it is a healing process I have to admit... It is very lonely.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

NW, he is your Ex, for reasons you both found made good sense at the time you broke up. He is now responsible for his own decisions, and their results, and for his own happines or unhappiness. OK, you are still hurting after the breakup --- do you really need him to be hurting as well ? If you twisted your ankle, it would hurt when you tried to walk --- if he then twisted his own ankle, would it really make yours feel any less sore ?
Sounds like youre still busy with the process of healing, and not through it yet. But you will be.
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