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19 Jul 2005

Need your Opinion Please
I am in a 3 month relationship with a divorced man. He has 2 kids with his x wife. He says he loves me dearly, but he must give up the greatest love of his life (me) to be a good dad to his kids. According to him he cannot be committed to me and at the same time be a good dad to his kids. I dont know where he's getting this from as millions of divorced people around the world manage to have happy second marriages and make the kids happy. His kids adore me. I think it's the x wife putting some guilt trip on him and manipulating him by telling him he's neglecting his kids, because she sees we are actually happy together and she wants him back, therefore she is using his kids to drive us apart. Any advise from you please, if feel so helpless as this woman knows him longer than i do and she knows exactly what buttons to push. Thanks.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I don't quite understand his point, either. As a married man wihin a happy marriage, many men manage to dearly love their wife, AND be a good dad to their kids --- the two roles aren't at all incompatible. So why not in this situation, too ? it does sound like somone, maybe his ex, could be trying to induce a guilt in him which is inappropriate. Talk it through with him, and ask him to explain how these two roles, both of which he's obviously good at, could possibly be incompatible ?
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