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14 Dec 2004

needed to talk
Hi there,

I have had one to many, have cut myself beyond belief and still bleed as I speak. Before I do anything irrational- like take some pills or whatever I can get my hands on. I am here, talking maybe it iwll help.
I jus think I am such a mess up and I screw everything in life up, I can never say the right thing do the right thing. I think the major problem here is I told someone how I feel about them- which I have never done and did not want to do- incase they said they felt the same= i dont want to mess up anyone else's life with my stupid issues, I dont want to bring them down with me, Its not fair on them or anyone. I wan tto just dissapear, get out of everyones life so i dont have to mess up anyone else's life. I didnt want to hurt her=-i am a female and I know she is gay herself. She has a gf and is in love- but told her anyway because of a shrinks advice. I dont think I should have done that cos i know how she feesl about this other lady. "sigh*
I am on medication, I am seeing a psychologist- went to see someone else about this cos my one is on holiday- as are most Drs.
I know there is nothing I can do- I just want to be her friend now- but I think she is gonna push me away now. But hey.
I'm sorry this must sound awfully pathetic- i have not been so damn sad in a long time. Its prolly got to do with the rejection- which i was expecting- so err, i dont know why. Maybe I realise inside I can never make her happy and she is better off without me, so why did I tell her?
I feel better now, thanks for listening, or reading. I'm sorry for this...I just needed to talk. Hell, I have never felt so sad in my entire life before, and so confused. I have never gone after women before which makes things worse and more confusing.

Ok let me stop now....
For I am crying now
Answer 379 views

01 Jan 0001

ciba, Pleased you felt better for talking this out. Do call your current srink for an early chance to talk this through furehr with her / him. And, as Ekke2 says, be cautious about that drinking, which makes it too easy to do things impulsively which one later regrets. Keep us posted as you work through these issues, and heal yourself, with the aid of your shrinks
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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