Ask an expert
Question

13 Jul 2006

Needs Help Urgently
Let me try to explain this. I am married a year now and madly in love with my wife. Due to my ex-wife cheating on me, i do have a problem believing my wife when she tells me she loves me and i have problems trusting her due to what happened before. Everything just becomes to much recently when i came upon my wifes diaries and couldnt resist reading them. I was shocked. She used to sleep with one guy after the other just for the thrill of a new guy and all the exitement of having sex with someone new all the time. Later in live, she met guys she loved but the relationships never lasted and she suffered a lot due to that as recorded in her diaries. Since that day, i questened the fact whether she really loves me because she dated very attractive men and i am not attractive and just an ordinary person. When having sex i cannot help but to think that she must be comparing me with her many previous lovers and this makes me sick. I also now understand her experience in bed and when she does something new in stead of me enjoying it just think of the other guys showing her all the tricks in the book. This must sounds very silly. Should i just forget her past and live in the present. I tried this but it seems impossible. I now even think of sleeping with prostitutes to get on the same level with her. Please give me advice because i cannot live my live with all this negative thoughts and just needs to be happy again
Answer 417 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

As she is still with you, JM, rather than those other guys, and as she chose to marry you, you cannot be an "ordinary" man in her eyes, and she must have more feelings for you than she had for them. Forgetting her past would be useful, but may not be easy for you to achieve on your own. How about the two of you sharing some marriage counselling to sort things out better ? Sleeping with prostitutes, or anyone else, won';t remedy anything and is likely to ruin everything. I really doubt that its any lack on your part that is causing this remaining problem.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.