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03 Feb 2004

No support at work
Hi Doc,

I'm feeling a little frustrated at the moment...Where to begin? Yesterday afternoon, one of my co-workers came to me 15 minutes before hometime and asked me to prepare 11 contracts for him. Usually, in my department, we have 5 days to prepare contracts. I managed to prepare 3, but our printer was acting up, and I couldn't print any. I e-mailed him the 3 that I had prepared, and said that I would finish the rest this morning. He came to me this morning and said that he was very disappointed in me, because as a result of my action, the contractors had to organise themselves accommodation. I got incredibly angry and told him that my working hours were from 7:30 - 4, and that I couldn't do anything anyway because our printer was acting up again. So now we're at odds, and we usually have such a good relationship. I do feel however that he walks over me - he often asks me to work during my lunch break to help him, or expects me to come in earlier in the morning, again, to help him meet his deadlines. But when I ask him to help me, he either waits three weeks to get it for me, or waits three weeks to tell me it's not his job. About 2 weeks ago he told me that he had to evaluate me, and he gave me full marks, but from now on, we must work together!! I thought "The cheek! I always stop what I'm doing to help him!" He also phones me when I'm on leave, or out of the office (business related) or off sick to ask why I didn't clear it with him, and because of that, he's going to miss deadlines. Well, I think it all just added up after this morning, and like I said, I went off at him. What bothers me is that my manager is trying to sweep the whole issue under the carpet, and he is telling me to try to patch things up with him... I'm very fond this co-worker, and I'm sorry that we're angry at each other...but I feel as though I'm being cheated here, as though it's ok for him to walk over me??? Aaarrrrgggghhhh!!!
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear jf,
YOur manager is probably right that it's best that you mend things with this co-worker now, but it sounds very clear that this guy is dreadfully unskilled at planning his work, at handling deadlines properly andat time management --- and expects you to sacrifice your own time, convenience and personal time, to keep getting him out of trouble. If he could plan ahead properly, he wouldn't need to do any of the things you describe, as everything could be done in good time and at your convenience. Does your manager recognize that this is a nioce guy, and presumably skilled at all sorts of things, but really doing a bad job of time management and expecting you to keep on rescuing you ? Can't the manager try to help by getting this guy some good training in time management, dealing with deadlines, etc., for everyone's benefit ?
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