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13 Dec 2005

Office gossip - please help
Hi\<br>I really love my job, but I'm extremely unhappy for one reason only and that is office gossip. There are a couple of people who skinner constantly. They fortunately don't involve me but one can see it a mile away (one picks up the body language, tone of voice and typing quite quickly) and it really upsets me. It is as if, no matter how well things are going, they ALWAYS find some reason to keep people unhappy. I hate it and I've really started to disrespect those people (I used to like them a lot). I avoid all invitations from them because I don't want to be drawn in to this. The skinner is so predicable - I cannot believe that people don't see right through it immediately. Why do people do that? Or am I odd for not wanting to join in the "fun"? I'm sorry, but I find it incredibly destructive, pathetic and quite sad and don't want to bow down to that level. My job is important to me but I can't work like this anymore. It is as if they always want to make someone look bad. (or do they want to divert attention from themselves and their own insecurities?) It is SO SICK!!! It is poisonous! Not everyone is like that but the others don't say anything either and I don't want to talk to them because then I'll only perpetuate the skinnering. Should I resign to get away from them? I really don't want to leave a job I love just because of these people. How can I deal with it? It really cannot be healthy! PLEASE give me advice - I'm really lost here.
Answer 437 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

There's absolutely nothing whatever wrong with you for not wanting to join in their gossipy games. The others probably dislike it as much as you do, and don't say anything for the same reasons you don't. Why should you resign to avoid these 2 skinnerbeks in what sound like otherwise nice people. Can't you discuss this with a supervisor or with HR ? Deubel and Lisa are right
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