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09 Jul 2010

Open marriage
Goodmorning

Rather sad morning
just over 2yrs ago my husband &  I decided after much talk to have an " open marriage" . We have been married 18yrs with 2 kids. I discovered yesterday for the last year he has been involved in an emotional affair which is the direct result of the other woman being 4 months pregnant now. And he has kept this a secret from me. This was supposed to be consented to sexual behaviour only. He has not told me anything till I found out for myself yesterday, now the trust is shattered, I am so hurt. What to do now? Should I leave? Can we perhaps go beyond this. I used to think we could do anything together, now there is so much mixed emotions.

Answer 448 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I have really never come across an "open marriage" that remained happy for long - the decision usually proves that there are significant problems within the marriage which need to be worked on in marriage counselling, rather than shared with intimate strangers.
A promise to have sexual flings without ever becoming more emotionally involved is simply naive - nobody can promise that. Avoiding pregnancy should have been far easier to achieve.
And I don't know how you convinced yourself you could maintain "trust" in an "open marriage".
If the pair of you want to still try to work something out, surel seeing a marriage counsellor is required ? But as soon as the pair of you decided to agree on an "open marriage" something like this was almost inevitable.
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