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12 Jul 2005

Opinion on step-daughter......

My hubby has 2 kids from prev marrg....Daughter is now 19yrs old...When we just got married about 11 ys was tough, to the extent that I felt like waking out on him..cos he "protected" his kids so much and believed the "little stories" that came from the ex and kids...etc etc....

With the grace of God, we have survived that part of our marrg...

However the daughter has tuned out a "angry" and bitter person...about 2 ys ago..she labelled me a "N..." (swear word"..but still hubby was never hard enough with her....she could always and still does get away with "murder".

He always blamed me..etc...

NOW...the wheel has changed.....he told me last week...that his ex told him that the daughter is a bitter person...doesnt really like men..(I cant believe this, as she has a 2nd bf already) its all becos hubby wasnt a real father to them.....beyond me, cos as I mentioned initally, he "protected" them, cos I never had a relationship with them.....It has changed with the son now.

The ex is telly hubby that daughter is unhappy....I think its a way of getting back at hubby...they are divorced ater 14 yrs......and making hubby feel responsible for the bitter person daughter is.

Can this be true that daughter can behave like this becos her dad didnt stay with them...or wot..???? I know of many girls in similar obviously married, who grew up without dads at home, who are loving wifes etc......I also know a girl who doesnt even know her dad, who is the sweetest thng on earth..!!!!!

So do u think this is true..??? Secondly, hubby has asked me to help him "heal this child" she is so bitter to most people around her....But we (she and I) simply hate each other...but now he wants me to help...and I still feel hate about the ugly things she told me...although I have forgiven her........

Answer 356 views

01 Jan 0001

Maybe he wasn't an effective father to them, as "protecting" them excessively isn't what a good father would do, and it sounds as though he never helped them to learn such important things as discipline. And by giving a child an artificial view of the world, as a plac where she can expect to get everything she wants, can indeed lead to bitterness later, when she discovers the lie, and has trouble adjusting to the real world in which she is hugely less important than he pretended she was. it may not be his fault, but it sounds as though he may well have contributed towards the growth of the problem.
it's hardly fair, though, to expect you to solve the problem they created, with a kid who dislikes you. They should arrange for her to see a counsellor, who is expert at dealing with such problems.
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