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29 Nov 2004

Partner's expectations
Not sure if this is all in my head. My partner always critisizes large people, people who smoke, people who do not have the same values as he does. We get on pretty well because right from the start I have been who I am and if he doesn't like it he can lump it........BUT actually I am very aware of my "flaws" and I bit self conscious. He thinks he is perfect he is fit, looks aftrer hmself (nothing wrong with that), eats healthily etc, but he is not perfect and I find myself constantly pointing that out to him.....which is tiring. Should I just zip my lip and not be like him. I now find myself also becoming judgemental and I don't want to be.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I doubt whether you have flaws, rather than aspects of your perfectly good self which don't match his personal standards, which h haughtily chooses to apply to others. Of course he isn't perfect --- he's vain and arrogant. And when, inevitably, he starts to get larger, and slower, and less pretty, he'll have a very hard time dealing with that. Do you really want to spend your life living with a judge ?
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