Ask an expert
Question

28 Jul 2008

past
hi

is it necessary to discuss pasts when in new relationship, i feel i should leave pasts in the past and live new life with my new boyfriend but it seem he want to know more about my abusive relationship that i left, so far we' ve been together for 5 moths but known each other before for 2 yrs.

should i tell or not. i don' t feel comfortable to talk about it, because i was hurt so much, i was abused by my partner emotionally, sextually, financially and physically. i just want to forget and move on.
Answer 397 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Some people believe in leaving people's pasts in the past, some can't do so ; so much depends on how you BOTH feel about that. In the sort of situation you describe, it's fair that you'd let him know you WERE in an abusive relationship previously, and perhaps mention how this has left you as regards your expectations fr4om him ; but it's not really fair for him to want the gory details. And tell him, calmly and pleasantly exactly as you said here, that you feel uncomfortable talking about it because of how badly you were hurt, and how you'd like him to help you move on, by not delving into it
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
33% - 9362 votes
No
67% - 19304 votes
Vote