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09 Dec 2004

Paternity test
I know it might not be the right forum to post this but I've seen that you guys in this forum are jack of all trades! Meant to be a compliment OK !

Hubby has a 10 yr old boy from a girl he had a one night stand with years before we got married. Hubby saw the child for the first time when he was 8 yrs old.he doubts whether he is the father.He's been supporting him since then . He heard rumours that the child is not his way before the child was born but refused to accept them because he wanted a child desperately then. He tracked the child and started maintaining him. The child's mother however does not want him to see the child . he ha'snt seen him in more than 3 years now but he deligenlty deposits money every month . he doubts if he's the father, the boytjie does not look like him and coupled with all the rumours he heard before ,the doubt is mounting .He' does not want the boy to know that he doubts his paternity just in case he is really the biological father . How can he get to have the test done without the poor boy knowing? In his will he'll leave quite a hefty sum of money to him if he dies and he feels he needs to know for sure. I know he longs for a child big time and I'm infertile . The boy's mother would not allow him to do that even if he told her about what he wants to do. What can he do to prove paternity without the mother and the boy knowing ? How much does the paternity test costs? does the medical aid cover it . The child's mother wanted an increase on the allowance and threatened to take him to court for maintannance. I asked him to just take the son as his own son and not question anything further since I cannot give him a child.If that was not the case I would have encouraged him to take the matter further. The child lives in Durbs with his mom and we are in Joburg so he does not get to see him but the feeling that he is a father is what I dont want taken away from him.
Answer 8,364 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I think the matters of maintenance, paternity and access have to be dealt with through the proper legal processes. COnsult a good lawyer and discuss this situation in detail. Kay sounds right on this. I'm sure he is entitled to insist on a paternity test, and that she can't insist on maintenance without allowing one to take place. The child probably woul;dn't be btohered about having a blood test done --- how the result is explained to him wil of course depend on that result.
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