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26 Feb 2009

people from my past
Pls help with this one! Why is it that i think about people from my past who have betrayed or hurt me, i think of them daily, i am talking about people from previous jobs or friendships that went sour, things from years ago. Why cant i just forget them? do you think its because there is " unfinished business"  there. A couple whom i cannot stand, who really interefered in my marriage about 4 years ago have sort of come back on the scene (smsing hubby etc), i have told him i DO NOT WANT them back in our lives. But still, it think of them often! am i mad or what????? Any response will be appreciated.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Its partly a quesion of how you chosoe to focus your attention. Gosh, if I chose to focus on all the people who have hurt me, or tried to harm me, I'd be too busy to even start breakfast ! This is where CBT can be so useful, to help you quit these negative habits of mind. Its no so much unfinished business that needs to be finished, but wheels spinning in the sand or mud, and one needs to be jumped ahead onyl firm ground again, so as to drive away from them.
That nasty couple, for instance --- OK< so they interfered in your marriage 4 years ago --- then they stopped whatever they were doing -- YOU have enabled them to continue interfering in your life, by continuing to obsess abou them. If they are trying to return, dicuss this with your husband, both of you tell them you want nothing moore to do with them, and move on.
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