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21 Jul 2006

Please advise - rockbottom!!!
Hi CS and forum members. I haven't been posting for quite a while, but I am in desperate need for your always helpfull and constructive advise.

It's been coming for a long time now that my weekend alcohol problem has been causing a drift between me and my girlfriend. Well it's something that would come and go. I'd be "good" for weeks and then I would endulge like it's the end of the world.

Well this past weeknd was one of those weekends. I didn't have time for her and went on a drunk trip with friends. But the good thing from it was that I finally realized (on Monday) how sad I make her and what a pig I am. So I've made a desicion and I need some advise on it.

I told her that I want us to end the relationship (it's not what I want). I told her that she deserves much better and that she should only take me back if I proved beyond doubt that I am a changed man. I told her that I didn't desrve someone as sweet and good as her. I feel that sometimes we're sitting in our comfort zones thinking that we might never loose the good things in our lives. Well she's the only good thing in my life and the only way that she'll be happy is when I can be a better man for her. At the moment we're not together but I miss her terribly. Though I am determined to change and show her and I therefor resist going to her house or seeing her. What do you think I should do?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Part of your proecdure sounds sensible and potentially productive --- but I hope you also told her the rest of what you say in this message --- aboput comfort zones, about her being the only good thing in your life, etc. Tell her of your determination to chenge ( you know that these weekend binges are not of any real value, and that so long as you stick with the bunch of friends, it'll be a hard habit to break ) --- so do also enlist the help of a counsellor to sort out these things efficiently, so you can potentially get on with this potentially nourishing relationship.
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