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29 Nov 2004

PLEASE HELP CASE OF THE EX
I was involved in a relationship for 8 years with this man. We both lived in cape town and he later moved to joburg. We continued with calls and when he is in ct he would come see me. I loved him very much, but never felt that I'm getting the same commitment from him. Three years ago after we spent yet another night together and he left the morning, like he always does, without being able to tell me he loves me or anything remotely like that; I decided that I cannot handle the hurt of watching him leave without any kind of re assurance. A guy that showed a lot of interest in me and actually was everything my true love wasn't, has asked me to marry him and I accepted. I needed to be loved and cared for and this man offered me all of that and more. I told myself this is the right thing to do for me and that I will make it work. It's been three years now and though we have our problems, things have been good. My ex got a girl pregnant and married her last year. We've been e mailing each other frequently trying to be friends though we know it's not possible considering the history we share. I saw him last week when I was in JHB for business, we chatted, trying to convince each other of our great lives then we hugged as he was leaving and then he kissed me and I responded. I knew then that I've never stopped loving this man. We met again twice during my time in JHB and we slept together (protected). I returned to cpt a woman who's emotions were a mess, because I realised how much I actually loved this man. I decided to lay the cards on the table and tell him exactly how I feel, something I should've done now years ago, and he didn't respond. so what now?
Answer 331 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear B,
It sometimes seems to me that nowadays many people feel so pressured to be pals with their Ex's, rather than just moving on, and letting the Ex be a thorough Ex, which is often kinder for all concerned. And so long as you're still sleeping with him whenever geography allows, that's hardly an Ex. Work on your marriage, with marriage counselling if needed, and stop cheating on your husband
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