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10 Feb 2004

Please tell me I am doing the right thing
I have been dating my boyfriend nearly a year now, I broke up with last week because I have found out that he has lied to me. Firstly this is not the first time he has lied to me, I have caught him out on other occassions. His lies are so uncalled for, they are about silly things. Like he tells me he is with his family when he is with a friend looking at cars for example. I would and have never stoped him from being with his friends, so why lie about such a small thing. He has never cheated on me and I not on him and I know he loves me and I love him, but I feel this is just not enough. Why lie to me about such small petty things, its planting the seed in my mind and makes me doubt him all the time, I don't want a life like that. Then another thing is he is not good with children, and I love children and I am very close to my family, but it is always such an effort to be around my family which is hardly every. I love this man, but he is not the type of person I can marry. For example, I broke up with him over the phone because I caught him lying about something really small about where he was and who he was with. For a week now he has been sending me a sms a day to tell me he loves me and will try and stop and he will build up the trust. But I feel if he really did love me the second I broke up with him he would have been at my house in seconds asking me to take him back trying to make things right. I feel I am worth more than just an sms. Am I doing the right thing, I love this man, and I am hurting too, but I know deep down he is not what I am looking for in a husband and in a father for my children. If I feel this way why do I still feel sad? He has treated me like gold, except for the lying and not being good with children. But I feel that trust is broken for ever and I don't want to be in a relationship were I am going to doubt him the whole time.

Am I the mean ex-girlfriend?
Answer 388 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

flower, if he really isn't the sort of person you would want to be married to, or to have as the father of your children, then don't proceed in that direction. And I think in thinking about whether one wants to be maried to someone, it's not only thinking of how the two of you could get on together right now, but imagine yourselves at 50, and at 70 --- would you still want to be together then ?
And claiming to have depression is never any justification for doing drugs.
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