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26 Jan 2009

Please tell me I&#39 m over reacting
Dear CS and readers.

I mentioned the other day that I was sick of my lazy boyfriend, and that he was completely complacent when it came to anything and everything in his life. We have since had a talk, where I broke down completely. I sobbed my eyes out asking him to please better himself or I' m leaving. I told him I need someone who cares enough about himself to be with me and someone who doesn' t just give the mediocre because he' s ok with accepting it.

My issue:
He worked the whole weekend, we had 4 hours together yesterday. Before he worked we both agreed to watch a movie together when he returned. He called me to let me know his friend wanted to hook up. He then said he felt guilty for leaving me at home with bronchitis. I told him I wont hold him back and thats a decision he must make. He leaves lastnight on a scooter in the rain after I offered my car but stressed the non negotiable " drink and drive"  policy I have. He declined my offer and took off on his scooter in the rain!!!! He smsed me to tell me he had arrived safely - as I requested - then I dont have a single thing from him from 17h45 - 20h40.

When I phoned to ask how he was doing at 20h40 (cause I wanted to go to bed) he answered me with " yes"  instead of the usual "  hi love how you doing?"  I was quite upset cause I could hear he was quite drunk and very flippant with me. He says he' ll be home - now now. He came home on his bike drunk as a skunk at 22h00. I was worried sick and couldnt sleep until he got home.
I was concerned about him on his scooter. Concerned about his safety, but he couldn' t have been bothered to keep in touch with me through the night. Am I over reacting by being upset with him for being selfish lastnight?? Or should I just tell him that I would have appreciated a little more communication?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Its good for you to be concerned about his safety, but the manner of your concern does sound rather stifling. YOu don't mention how he reacted to the session in which you wept, or what he did or did not proise to do about your concerns. If he worked the whole weekend, on genuine work, he is apparently not altogether lacking in ambition or the ability to work hard. Maybe he felt he needed some time off after the extra overtime ? Drinking and driving is never fair, though, to himself or to others he might run into on the road.
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