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26 Jul 2005

porn sites
I posted my question to the wrong people once again. I'm trying to get expert advise from the Cyber Shrink hope this is it. Don't get me wong I don't mind anyone else speaking there thoughts it is just that I would like to get his oppinion as well.
To put it short and sweet my husband likes to look at porn on the internet. He spends a lot of time there in his studdy surfing the net. But the other day I stumbled appon a website or what ever you call it where there was lines and lines "written 13 year old F*&# , 9 year old legs spread open etc. I confronted him emediatly and he denied it and said it was some search engine he uses and it brings up all sorts of thins depending on the key word you put in. He even gave me the name but said we will not see that stuff at work because we have a fire wall protecting the company form that and that he is not paying thousands of rands to get one at home. Wel I told him I don't want to see this again after a heated argument. But it happend again about 3 or so weeks later. Same excuse but this time I asked him why was one of the pictures opened. Then he started blaming me for not sexually stimulating him. Bla bla bla. I have tried my utmost to keep him happy but since we had our boy age 3 I have not got all that time to keep him happy although I do try. But this is sick and I told him he needs help but he is still denying that he looks at that and that, that sort of thing dispises him. I will never trust him around kids any more what to do. Should I leave him? CAN I HELP HIM?
Answer 545 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Firstly, sammy, DO conduct a search of the archives of this site, as I have discussed this exact subject so very often that I'm sure you'll find it useful to read the previous discussions ; also, I find it understandably hard to return to the same topic so very often.
I understand that it is perhaps possible for someone either to receive spam emails from sites they haven't visited or looked for, and maybe even to be directed to web-pages they were not wanting.
Actually, though, if he wants to protect the home computer, there are many cheap firewalls and even NetNAnny type products which will keep out sexually explicit materials, so as to protect children who may have access to the machine, so he may have been a bit to ready to anounce that it would be impossible to prevent such intrusions.
The give-away, surely, though, is when he switched tactics and started blaming you for not satisfying him sexually ( if so, that would be his fault for not collaborating with you so that you are both satisfied ). And while it might excuse him looking at the normal adult porn on the web, it isn't an excuse for looking for kiddie-porn. I think there is a police task-force looking for people who get too deeply into such materials --- I wonder whether they'd be prepared, if you contacted them, to give your husband a call, just enough to discourage him from further explorations of that sort ? And if he is, seriously, interested in child porn, then he sould be strongly encouraged to see a counsellor asap, to sort out this unhealthy tendency.
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