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21 Nov 2005

Post Op Stress - Does it exist?
I had a hystorectomy 6 weeks ago. All was and is well. Sex is fantastic. I just get out bursts of irretation and frustration. I have no patients with my daughter. She irretates me, she is 6. I am not on hormones, I have my overies. My out bursts don't last long, but t is not fair to my daughter. I am a single mother with a hell of a lot of stress from work, having to cook, taking care of the house and swimming pool, making sure the bills are paid and then there is the father of my daughter I wish would just disapear off the face of the earth. I have a loving caring patient man in my life I met 4 months ago on the internet. He and my daughter get on very well, but the stress when I am laying in his arms and she keeps checking us out, or comes and sits in the middle of us, or I worry if I am giving him to much attention and not to her and visa versa. Maybe I should leave him and let it just be me and her again, but I can't maybe I am being selfish with her by keeping him, but it is my second chance in life for love. SOmething I experienced over 23 years ago and not willing to let it go away again. I just want to be by me, I was off for 4 weeks with th eop, but I had to clean and pack cupboards, there was no time to relax and recover. Sorry I didn't mean for this meassage to be so long. Any advice on how to get myself back on track to be the happy, outgoing, bubbely person I use to be, will be appreciated. I miss ME.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Well, operations are stressful, unquestionably ( having had two this year myself, I can fully confirm that ! And then you had no real chance to relax and recover, but had to plunge into more work at home. ( I know how that is, too !) But then you admit that you have a whole load of stress at work, too, and have the additional stresses of a single mom. So stressed to the point of irritable --- inconvenient, but hardly surprising.
SOunds like she's a bit jealous, and worried that your new relationship may mean less love for her. Many people, and most kids, can think that you have only a small and finite amount of love in you, and that if you give ANY to anyone else, that must mean that there's less for her. Have a nice long chat with her and explain that this isn't so, and when you have a nice man being loving to you, in fact it gives you even more to chare with her.
You are NOT being selfish in having a satisfying relationship with a nice guy --- thats your right.
Of course you miss YOU --- so make plans to take off a little time for YOu to spend even short spells of quality time with YOU. And maybe a spot of CBT style counselling could help you learn to relax and organize your time better for the sake of all three of you
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