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Question

31 Jan 2009

problem
fiance of 10 years has used substances for a while cleaned up act, i followed his example did it 1 more time, he has now broken it off, realised my actions were the result thereof, asked him to forgive me, i have now gone and made it worse, by going out with friends for drinks as they wanted to cheer me up, he saw me out and now doesn' t believe my remorse, which is what i have. i am digging myself into such a deep hole, what can i do to salvage a friendship at the least, is there anything i can do or is it too late, i have hurt him terribly and have regrets but he doesn' t want to hear it.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

First rule --- when you find yourself in a hole --- STOP DIGGING ! Its understandable why he was upset, though not why he should behave now as though mortally offended. What you did |1 more time" was indeed stupid, as you realize, and your follow-up hardly improved matters. Give it a short while to settle, and then open calm discussion about it, explaining how you feel, why you regret it, and what you plan for the future.
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