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29 Nov 2005

Psychological Scars
hello Doc,
Difficult for Me to begin Starting as to what to Say, But I'll start here.
I'm Bitter I left Opportunites go by.
I've had problems when I was in the Police Service.
But the most important point is that I've wasted so many years doing something I never enjoyed.(10 yrs)
I put off trying to form Any Relationship with decent and educated women But rather drank and slept with loose women.
I am now studying in a different field and still I feel very reluctant, low esteeem, this is when I am in the presence of a person who is quite attractive, I feel I'm not worthy of such a person.
I'm a guy of 39yrs, always Single.
It's like I'm constantly persecuting myself.
Any Advice Appreciated.
Answer 309 views

01 Jan 0001

Hello Jay,
Well, the only thing worth doing with the past, is to learn from it. So you have wasted some time and have done som things which you now recognize as not wise at all. Fine. Counselling would truly help, especiall of the CBT form, because a problem ( such as with relationships ) often forms as a result not of what you did, but of the conclusions you drew, the assumptions you made, about whatever tyou did in the past --- in CBT one checks these, tests them, and where they're not useful, revises them to more fruitful ways of life.
OK, so you wasted time in the past --- simply persecuting yourself for what you did during that wasted time, is merely to waste more time --- counselling is a way to ensure that the rest of your time is well spent, usefully and satisfyingly
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