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Question

23 Nov 2004

RE: daddy's girl
I have a good job and my fiance is doing his computer thing. You do not seem to understand that my father has a fear of me moving on. He tries to hold me back from everything, is this right?
I mean, when i went to study, he told me i am waisting my time, everything I try he puts me down. Yes I must move out, but again i get told i won't survive, what kind of father won't encourage their children? I feel that i am too scared to try anything in case i end up failing and give my father satisfaction. Yes i know that he is a good father and may be he is right, but give me a chance to find out for myself. Why all of a sudden the over protectiveness? When i was growing up i never had it. How would you feel when are told that you cannot go to the shop alone, my mother has to go everywhere with me, isn't this ridiculous! I have made up my mind and I am going to move out, and yes maybe i will battle, but i know i will get through it.

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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I do understand, that some father's are excessively protective of their kids, especially daughters ( just as, sadly, some fathers are far too little protective of them). A god father won't encourage you to do something that is doomed to fail, yet he shouldn't be too pessimistic and discouraging, where you have a good chance of success.
As San says, is he scared of eing alone when you leave ? There could be other solutions for that problem, if so.
But shouldn't it be a first priority for you and your bf to become finaicially secure and independent, so you can afford your own place in the long term, and can afford a further child and the happy life you all deserve ?
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