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18 Jul 2008

RE Getting Divorced by Ne
I would suggest that you go ahead with the divorce, and do so very fast.

I learnt from one therapist when we were in that dilemma too, that one doesn' t allow themselves to call for divorce (i am sure your wife is aware and is part of the decision to end your marriage) and then reconsider UNLESS there is something he or she is up to.

Another lesson was:
assume you are in the desert, Kalahari or namib, there is no water, you go on for weeks craving water and thirsty and I come to you and offered to take you to a small pond where I had just washed off my face, animals drank and peed into the same pond.

You will delightedly drink the water simply because, this is the best you know at the moment and under your current circumstances.

Would you have accepted and drank the water had you been in your home with plenty of fresh water and bottled water etc? Absolutely NOT.

Your wife and your marriage is all you are used to now. Your wife and your marriage are all you have and know (like the dirty and contaminated water in the desert).

Most of the times, you are most likely not in love with her neither are you missing her as a lover or because you are capable of dealing with issues that put you where you are at the moment. You are missing familiarity, that is all.

Go ahead with the divorce - I don' t want to tell you the pain and hardship of going back  I had emotional bruises when i finally got out. So, go ahead with the divorce, i would advise.

Then allow yourself to meet new people, start a new life, start all over again, learn to be happy again. Then you can decide whther the contaniminated water is the best - and if it is (which I doubt if you do things right in the starting over), then go back to her.

Be a man, face your fears  who said that life would be easier? Who said life after break up or divorce will ever be smooth-sailing  fall and rise and and and but START BY LOVING AND APPRECIATING YOURSELF MORE. You probably have never seen yourself without her. NOW IS THE TIME TO UNDO THAT WEAKENING mindset.

Good Luck
Answer 355 views

01 Jan 0001

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