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09 Aug 2008

Re: Is it okey ...
Hi, I wrote a message earlier this year about my baby girl who died at 6 months, because of a hospital germ she got. I' m doing ok for now. Her birth date was 13 August 2007. That' s next week Wednesday. I am so scared, and don' t know what to expect. Everybody tells me that I' ll be fine, but what if I' m not? What if I get a " break-down"  and disappoint everybody? I' m so confused, because I REALLY don' t know how to handle this situation. I think I' m just looking for answers on how to handle this. It is the first " baby lost"  in our family. I just think nobody actually knows how to handle it, because they are " scared"  or " waiting"  for my reaction to this.???
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

You won't breakdown. It is natural and normal ( though not universal ) to suffer what is called an Anniversary Reaction, in which one feels more acute grief and sadness on the anniversary of such a loss, just as one may miss her more on her birthday, Christmas, and other family occasions.
And if you get sadder, why should it "disappoint" anyone at all ? They should not have unreasonable expectations of you. There may be no "situation" to handle. If you feel more sad than usual, that will pass, probably within the same day. Don't accept the responsible you seem to imply that everyone else's reactions must somehow take the lead from you and yours. Look after yourself, and let them take care of themselves
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