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03 Apr 2006

Re: Messed up sooo bad!
Dear CS

How does a person reach a stage in their life when they can stop blaming their mental illness? I'm diagnosed with bipolar...... was on medication and thought i could conquer anything.......... for three years life was as i could never have imagined it could be....... so much went right.......... then i could feel i was going into a manic episode and went for help real quickly........ got new meds......... stuffed up at work and everything tumbled from there....... I thought i was walking proof that bipolar could be treated effectively......... i dont even know if its the bipolar anymore.... maybe i use bipolar as a crutch..........
I'll have to try find a new shrink am too scared to go back to the other one.......... i told him so many times that i was going crazy .... but he kept telling me to carry on with the same meds..... do you think that i could be stabilsing on my own now? all the meds must be totally out my system now..........
i'm very anxious of course........ and keep watching my back in case someone I know sees me....... but why now do i suddenly think i reached enough.... last week i was prepared to walk into the sea and let the waves take me.......... this week i think maybe there is something of me that can be salvaged and turned into something respectable..........

Sorry CS, I know you are busy....... thanks for taking your time with me.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Teh fact that things DID go right, proves that they CAN go right. Maybe a new shrink is a good idea --- get a fresh viewpoint, a re-assessment. Sometimes after we've made one diagnosis it's not easy to recognize any other possibilities. Im certain that there's a lot in you that can be salvaged and become great ; I'm so pleased you didn't walk into those waves.
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