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Question

22 Nov 2004

Relationship
I am not sure I even have a problem or perhaps i am being oversensitive. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. The problem is that over the past few months I have seen a side to him which i do not like. He is a wonderful man and I am deeply inlove with him, however there are times where we will argue over something trivial and he always needs to win. If I continue to argue with him, he becomes furious and tells me not to come near him. I usually end up in tears because i am convinced he is going to leave me. We get on really well most of the time, but now I am consciously trying to be submissive so that he doesnt get annoyed. I love this man so much and i do want this relationship. Also he said that he is a private person and even though we share alot, he cannot share what he likes sexually with me. I was quite hurt by this, as i thought we could talk abt anything. Now I wonder what else he cannot share with me. I now feel like I need to become a bit more guarded and not as open as I have been in the past. Please advise!
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Mabe this illustrates the value of a long courtship, that it gives a better chance of getting to know the person more fully, including aspects you don't like, rather than discovering them only after marriage ! COnsider pre-marriage, relationship counselling, to work out these wrinkles in your communications and relationship. I don't think it's a great idea to base you long-term relatonship on you being submissive and obedient --- that's be bad for both of you. Counselling could help him to open up more --- and if he can't share with you what he likes sexually, he may never find it !
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