Ask an expert
Question

14 Jul 2008

Relationship not working
Morning guys, im not regularly on this site but i log on now and then and i must say that i really like most of your brilliant advices.

Been in relation with bf for 3 years everything was going well but suddenly he has changed im not sure any more. He stays away for long periods without saying anything then i call him and we meet to discuss the issue which he keeps saying evrything is fine theres nothing wrong then he repeats the same thing agaian and again until last week when we spoke and it seemed he made up his mind to improve his behaviour.

Yesterday when he called me around 4pm and said he was coming to fetch me i was sleeping cos i had a migraine and he's aware that i suffer from this. Anyway, he came and i went with him thinking that we were going to his place as usual only to find that we went to visit some friends who had a braai. I was surprised cos he knew i was not feeling well. We went to his place around 8pm. When we went to bed we had sex and later during the night he woke me up and wanted more when i refused he became so angree and when we got up this morning he started telling me that is why men want "isithembu" (polygamy)because their women have too many excuses how can i refuse to have sex with him just because of a headache. I was so furious and now im having second thoughts about us. Please advise me.
Answer 729 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

OK, so we can respect genuine cultural customs to a degree --- but people ( and it so often seems to be men, doesn't it ? ) who pick and choose, only those aspects of customs which suit their selfish desires, and ignore the responsibilities that usually go along with these, are not being fair and actually abusing their own culture. How selfish he is, to ignore your illness and your own feelings --- does he really think that life is meant to revolve around nothing except a man's sexual desires and his selfish convenience ?
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.