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20 Jul 2005

Reminiscing about old flame, but engaged to soul mate
Dear CS
Its me again, the one with all the answers for others and nothing for myself.
I don't know what to do, lately I've been in touch with my best mate from school who I had a thing with. I broke his heart completely and have never lived down the guilt. We were marvellous together and I'll never forget all the mischief we got up to.
Lately, I've started thinking about all the things he is that my current isn't. Like the fact that my fiance has a temper, and that he isn't as emotional. It's like all the things that are important to me in a man are shining brighter through my ex than through my man.
We keep emailing each other, we've been in touch for years. I just can't understand why everytime we talk we bring up the special times we shared.
I start thinking if my fiance is actually the right man for me, or if my ex looks promising because he's recently single and I'm riddled with guilt.
Please tell me I'm normal. At least a little.
~Wings~
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hi ~Wings~,
You know, I doubt that you're the only one with answers for everyone but yourself. There's a lot of it about !
I'm not clear whether you are comparing your current bf with an ex you are actually seeing and spending time with ( and thus able to assess more accurately in detail ) or with an ex you have contacted more remotely, and are experiencing as a combination of the best things you remember about him and how he conveys himself in emails. There's a difference. Most of us seem much better in retrospect and by email, than in person ! And, as you imply, it could also be your guilt speaking !
I ahree with Paul and Sunshine, you may be experiencing a bad attack of Normal.
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