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21 Nov 2005

Satanish & Death Thoughts
When I was in St. 10 I had a boyfriend who was a Satanist (I did not know it).

I then went with him to a meeting, not knowing were we were going or what it was for, (blindfolded till we got to the place) and although I was not in the crowd carrying snakes etc (we were in a separate group, apart from the believers) I was, what can I call it, hexed ?

Because after that I had the most horrible dreams (I broke it off with him) of being in a coffin and not being able to get out, of worms eating at me etc. It got so bad that I had to bite or hurt myself to get the thoughts to stop.

I went to study and it continued, my parents sent me to a place where I was hospitalized and placed in sleep therapy amongst other things.

That did not work and they got a priest to what they called drive the devil out of me.

In any case today I’m in my 30’s and every now and then (it’s never stopped) I still get these thoughts. Sometimes late at night when alone, I think of me, I’m going to die, I will no longer be here on this earth, my body will rot and I will just die, I will no longer be.
Yes I know about God and all that it still does not help me. I hate these thoughts and sometimes I must quickly put on the TV or wake my husband or whatever to just stop thinking about it, I never get these thoughts in the day. When I die that’s it. I AM no longer etc

Will I just have to live with this for ever ?
Answer 388 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

When you were in Std 10, you had a bf who was an immature litle show-off, who liked to pretend to be special and to freak out adults and others, and who pretended to be what he thought a satanist might be like.
Being hexed is no risk at all, except if you choose to believe in all that mumbo-jumbo. Nobod has ever been afflicted by demons or related unpleasant thoughts, except when they believed in them. It is your belioef in them that provides the power for such imaginary forces to make you miserable.
Its good that your parents tried to get you expert help --- but unfortunat that a 100 % quack "sleep therapy" whicb is never used by any competent shrink, was used.
Fortunately there is no need for you to put up with these unpleasant thoughts for much longer. But you must see a competent, properly trained, modern shrink, who doesn't believe in witchcraft nor indulge in dangerous and useless treatments like sleep therapy. Modern Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy, CBT, is excellent, short, and powerful for learning to control uncomfortable thoughts, and some specific medications may help as well.
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