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Question
04 Apr 2006
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Scared from porn
I've got an issue with porn that i can't control. Whenever i have a bf in my life and a movie with nudity is on i change the channel sothat he cant watch it but when its with my male friends it doesn't bother me. I've previously been scarred from porn ( 4 years ago) but i can't seem to get it out of my system. How can i deal with it. It got so bad at one point that if i found out my male friends watch it (video, book, etc) i would end my friendship with them. The main reason why it became an issue was 4 years ago when i was in a serious relationship he chose to watch and download porn instead of making love with me or anything.
CyberShrink
Hello, D,
You haven't really described why you describe yourself as "scarred from porn". You seem to consider porn as a rival ( and check the archives of this forum to see the many times we've discussed aspects of this issue ). There may be many reason why your previous bf seemed more interested in porn tham in makign love to you --- there could, for instance, have been many things going wrong with your relationship, making him uninterested in you sexually --- and these problems may have caused his increased interest in porn, rather than the other way round.
And you seem to have a very specific concern --- you're happy for other, maybe less close, male friends, watch porn, without feeing threatened, but fear it only ( if I understand what you're saying here ) when your own boyfriend watches it. Wouldn't it be useful for you to see a good local counsellor, to sort out some of these conflicting feelings and concerns ?
You haven't really described why you describe yourself as "scarred from porn". You seem to consider porn as a rival ( and check the archives of this forum to see the many times we've discussed aspects of this issue ). There may be many reason why your previous bf seemed more interested in porn tham in makign love to you --- there could, for instance, have been many things going wrong with your relationship, making him uninterested in you sexually --- and these problems may have caused his increased interest in porn, rather than the other way round.
And you seem to have a very specific concern --- you're happy for other, maybe less close, male friends, watch porn, without feeing threatened, but fear it only ( if I understand what you're saying here ) when your own boyfriend watches it. Wouldn't it be useful for you to see a good local counsellor, to sort out some of these conflicting feelings and concerns ?
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