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27 Jul 2005

Seems like many people need to read this - True Love or Fake Love?
Love that Stifles

Some forms of pseudo-love pose as real love. It isn't always easy to distinguish between authentic love - that which enhances us and those we love - and the kind of "love" that diminishes and cripples us and those we say we love.

However, Psychotherapist team, Gerald and Marianne Cory (USA 1993) have distinguished certain characteristics that are typical of love that stifles. As result of many years of counselling couples with relationship problems, they have concluded that a person whose love is inauthentic:

Needs to be in charge and make decisions for the other person.

Has rigid and unrealistic expectations of how the other person must act to be "worthy of love".

Attaches strings to loving and loves conditionally.

Puts little trust in the relationship

Perceives personal change as a threat to the continuation of the relationship.

Is possessive.

Depends on the other person to fill a void in life.

Lacks commitment.

Is unwilling to share important thoughts and feelings about the relationship.

Resorts to manipulation to get the other person to respond in a predetermined manner.

Most of us can find some of these manifestations in our relationships, and this doesn't mean that our love is fraudulent. It is, however, important to be honest with yourself and to recognise when you are not expressing genuine love, in order to change these patterns.


Author: Anita Le Roux - healthcare writer
Answer 430 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

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