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21 Nov 2005

self belief gone
i have no idea what's wrong with me - if i have a few drinks i am full of beans and the life and soul of the party. but dead cold sober i am awkward, dont enjoy myself and well a bit of a wall flower. i feel really nerdish and uncomfortable in my skin etc. my new friends are always encouraging me to do things to be more dressy, to wear more make up and do my hair differentloy etc but i am quite a plain jane - or at least that's what my ex always used to say i am. today i got all dressed up for the first time in a long long time, did my heair differently and my make up and even wore a dress with heels and no one recognised me and were all raving but i just didn;t feel comfortable. how does someone start building their self confidence again? i sometimes just want to blend in to the walls hence my normal casual underdressed look, ponies an dno make up. i dont actually want anyone to notice me. why why why. it feels like a my self confidence i have been tryin to regain after my past history - destructive ex etc has just vanished and i am that wimpering unsure of herself woman again. how did i lose the plot. how do i get back on track...
ii fought hard for my sanity, t get back on track and now i feel like i am losing it...
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hello fin/ex,
I guess we can all manage to be a plain jane, if we insist on doing so --- but that's a temporary description of a temporary state, not a life sentence. Sounds like there's a degree of social anxiety here, hence wanting to be unattractive and to go unnoticed, as if somehow you don't deserve to be noticed and admired. You have your sanity, but you haven't recovered your ability to find joy in life and with others, yet.
Now, Yum has more of a point than you might think, as there is indeed some evidence that if you fake it in a good direction, your mood and feelings may follow your behavioural lead.
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