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Question

14 Nov 2004

SELF ESTEEM
HI, THIS MIGHT SOUND DUMB, BUT I REALLY WANT HELP ON THIS SUBJECT.

I DON'T SEE MYSELF AS AN ATTRACTIVE GUY, AND THIS IS AFFECTING
MY SOCIAL LIFE.
I CAN'T WORK UP THE " GUTS ", FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD,
TO STRIKE UP A CONVERSATION WITH WOMAN I FIND ATTRACTIVE.
I AM TOLD THAT I AM VERY ATTRACTIVE, BUT STILL DON'T SEEM TO BELIEVE
IT.
HOW CAN I IMPROVE MY SELF-IMAGE AND CONFIDENCE.

P.S. REALLY NOT INTERRESTED IN ANY "SELF-HELP BOOKS OR COURSES"

THANX.
Answer 369 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Well, I dont believe in courses, either, as its years since I found one that profited the audience more than the speaker ! SOME self-help books actually do help, if they're well-written ( most are not ) well informed ( most are not) and if you actually work hard at them.
But, excuding that route, the other good alternative would be counselling, one-to-one, with a good local counsellor, to help yopu understand better why your own image or yourself is so much less than what anyone else would see or think of you, and to change this in the direction of appropriate self-confidence. I think you'll find, after the weekend, when the majority of our readers return, that many women aren't looking for a guy with terrific looks, but a nice warm, friendly personality, who is actually genuinely interested in them and will listen --- all things you're probably rather good at. It's not needed for you to say something awesomely cool and clever, but to be a better listener than the other guys around ( and that's not hard to achieve !).
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