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19 Feb 2004

Should i follow my heart or my head???
I am 13 weeks and had some light bleeding this morning which has stopped the last time i checked.I also have slight cramps like my period is coming.I wonder if i could be in the process of having a miscarriage.I have been under severe stress because my boyfriend has suddenly decided against me having this baby and i don't know what to do now.I also had a dream last night that i had left my 'baby girl' with my grandmother to look after her.I don't have any kids and my grandmother died many years ago so i don't understand what this could mean.I am now even more confused and stressed.Tears just fall down my face when i remember the baby girl's face in my dream.She had my boyfriends lips.The biggest worry i have right now is whether i should go ahead and have an abortion and please my boyfriend or rather go through with the pregnancy alone.The reason why my boyfriend is not willing to have a baby right now is that we have planned to relocate overseas and he believes that having a baby will interfere with our plans.He says he will do anything to make me happy but he will not have this baby coz its the wrong time.What do i do???Follow my heart or my head?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

tlc,
Sincerely, I don't believe that the dream has any significance, except maybe to show that you miss your grandmother, and wish you had her support available to you right now. As to whether you might be having a miscarriage, perhaps in the early stages, of course nobody can tell from a distance, but it'd be a good idea to see a gynae specialist, in private pracice or at a clinic, as soon as possible, for this to be checked on, and there you could see a counsellor to discuss in detail the difficult decision you face about whether to have the baby.
I can't help thinking that if your bf thinks this is an inconvenient time to have a baby, he should have been smarter about using proper contraception, rather than expecting an abortion to suit his convenience. I think lady Nina asks very relevant questions here, and I'm pleased that all of our readers have been so helpful here.
First of all, take good care of yourself --- and see a gynae about those cramps. They may be OK, but could be a sign of something already going wrong with this pregnancy, and ignoring them could be risky for you as well as any baby.
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