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21 Dec 2004

Should I put my baby in a creché?
Hi,

My baby is seven months old today, and even before she was born my husband and I always said that we would put her in a creché when she's about 1 and a half years old. But we are starting to feel that we may need to do it sooner.

I know about babies getting stranger anxiety and I also know that it's just a phase and it goes away, but my baby has had it ever since birth. And it is probably my husband and my fault. She stays at my mother in law during the day when we work, but my mother in law also lives with us, so she never really leaves the house or see any strangers. The only people she sees during the day is me, my husband, my mother and sister in law, and that;s it. On weekends she sees my parents, but doesn't get in touch with any other people really, and when we do go out the day, or go for coffee at a shop, and someone wants to speak to her, not even pick her up yet, she starts crying.

My husband and I are therefore thinking that maybe we should put her in a creché from January month, so that she can learn to be with other people, to be with children her age. I also think that if we don't do it now, it;ll be even harder for her to adjust when she's older (a year and a half). If we do it now, it might be easier.

I also know that the teacher at the creché we went to look at are trained teachers from universities, so they will know exactly how to stimulate her, because we always do the same things, the same routine every day, so she will be more stimulated and might even talk faster or walk faster...

I am just afraid of doing it because about 2 weeks ago, she had to go to the hospital and the first night they didn't want me to sleep over, when I got there the next morning her eyes were swollen up from all the crying, it looked almost as if someone hit her eyes, and it was all red from the crying. It took us almost half the day to just get her to be with us the way she's normally with us.

I am very afraid, if I do put her in a creché that it's going to disadvantage her somehow and i'm afraid that she might not cope. I do not want to make things worse for her, but I also don't want to bring up my daughter in the same environment in the same routine every day and in the future see that she's selvish and pulled back into herself, because she's too afraid of people around her.

Please anybody, give me advise on what to do, because I know as a mother how important of an issue it is not to mess things that are extremely important in a child's live and might determine how she will be the rest of her life, up.

Thank you ;)
Answer 408 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hi Mom,
Firstly, relax, it's very highly unlikely that as good a mother as you aere, will mess up your child's life ! As you see from the range of responses from other readers, atitudes and experiences differ, and it is impossible to predict with any certainty how your child will react to creche, other than that it is likely she will be troubled and tearful at first. It will probably be beneficial. I find only an occasional child seems unduly sensitive to picking up infections from other kids. And indeed, there is growing evidence that a child who is brought up in too sterile an environment, with too little exposure to the ordinary mild infections and germs of other kids, may be more likely to develop later problems like asthma.
And remember she is likely to be very senstive to and responsive to, your own emotuions. IF you are feeling guilty and very anxious about leaving her at the creche, she is more likely to be more upset. Relax, it'll be good for both of you. As Juice says, babies are generally remarkably flexible and adaptable, even if they don't always welcome change
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