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22 Jul 2010

SHOULD MY DAUGHTER CALL HIM DAD
I met this wonderful man in 2008 and we moved he paid the lobola this January and we moved in together immediately. I have an 11 year old daughter and he''s got a 13 year old daughter as well both from previous relationships. His daughter calls him DADDY and my daughter calls her father BEN and she calls me GRACE as per our names. And my daughter calls my fiance JIM as per his name.
Is this wrong for my child to say those names?
Does that mean my child does not have manners?
Last week we visited my fiance''s family together with my daughter and his lovely daughter who calls me Ausi GRACE and with my daughter calling my fiance JIM his family did not like it but my JIM does not have a problem with my daughter calling him JIM I am confused and don''t know how to handle the situation. My daughter is close with both her biological father and step father. His daughter is also close with both and she stays with her mom but visits us some weekeends she is a lovely daughter and they are so close with my daughter as well of which my daughter sometimes visits her at her mothers place
Answer 363 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

There is no general rule about this, and you need to talk about this and decide it between you, and then discuss it with the kids and explain what form you prefer. The kids obviously have to call you SOMETHING, an have chosen differently. That's practical, not rude.
When you visit your families, if the way you like things is not the way the family has traditionally done it, just calmly explan it to them that thisd is how you have decided, as a family in your own right, to do this.
Where there is a biological mom or dad AND a new mom or dad, they need advice on what to all them - if they call both men "Dad" it'd be confusing for everyone.
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