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24 Jul 2006

Signs of having an affair
Dear CyberShrink,

I think my husband may be having an affair. He has been working very late hours due to a project that has been happening at work, he has been coming home at about 12:00 - 01:00 in the morning. I have trusted him with that as I feel as we are married he deserves to be trusted.
But recently my instinct has been telling me otherwise. He got a call early on Saturday morning at about 02:00 to say that he needs to reset something critical at work. I asked him to let me know when he got to work safe but he didn't. I tried to call him to check he was ok but he did not answer (he said his phone was on silent). I phoned the control room to see if he got there ok and the guard told me that there was no one there. Could the guard be misinformed? He came home after 2 hours.

About a month ago he said he was working late and he was going to get a takeaway, the other day, I found a slip for a restuarant on that particular date. The amount wasn't allot, so I can only assume that the bill was for 2 people. He has lied about a lunch appointment before but I trusted his excuse.

I can't bring this up with him, he wouldn't admit it anyway!

What are the signs of someone having an affair? What do I need to look out for? A marraige is supposed to be built on trust, how can I make sure that he isn't seeing someone else?

Please help CyberShrink, I really need some advise.
Answer 368 views

01 Jan 0001

I'm sure that other readers can advise, based on their own experiences, about what other signs might suggest an affair. This is beyond my professional expertise. Have you calmly sat down, at a suitable time, and asked him about this ? Maybe first, ask about this special project, with real interest in what it is, what chal;lenges it has, and what work it entails for him.
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