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29 May 2011

Sleepless &amp  Controlfreak
Hi, thanks for the advice. I am seeing a therapist 2 weekly and just had a long session with my Dr last week. But, we did not get to the sleeping problem. Work was the main topic. Can you suggest any sleeping tablet? The Rivotril was prescribed mainly for anxiety. My revious posts were control freak (Colleague taking over my project). Maybe this puts things into perspective. If only I can only have 8 hours sleep straight. Do I go and see my Dr again about the sleep or do you think it is not serious? Some nights I take 3 Stilnox and still wake up at 3am. With the Rivotril and Spasmend. I have a performance appraisal coming up and I know what my manager is going to say: I am too negative. I want to give her some constructive critiscism. I am wondering if one of my colleagues does not run to her and tell her what I say on the phone. How can she hear what I am saying when her door is closed? Tonight I feel like taking my own life and letting them struggle with the project. Because I know my meddling colleague will not cope. I feel hopeless. How can I walk in there tomorrow morning knowing what was said to me on Friday. I am a perfectionist and don''t take criticism well. I won''t do it, because I''ve got 2 dogs to take care of. But I wish I could leave them to sort out the mess. But on the other hand, I want to be in control. I feel hopeless and desperate. I am trying to stay positive. But it is difficult. I feel I need to see my therapist more often now. Should I call my Dr or go and see him. Or should I just wait for the Insomnia to pass? I feel frustrated, because some parts of the project is beyond my control, we are dependant from an independent contractor who is not doing his job and everything is going wrong. I feel so frustrated. I am doing better with my colleague, he has distanced himself from my project because her realised I gave him the worst sites. I don''t really know what I want you to say? But some advice on the sleeping would be helpful. Please be assured I am properly managed with medication and CBT. I someone in the office is running to my manager with stories about me I need to let it stop - it just makes me wonder how she could hear my conversation with closed doors. And my male colleague was not there. But they say the worst things about her. I feel I want to hurt them the way they hurt me.
Answer 656 views

01 Jan 0001

Obviously you do need to discuss this with your doc. I suspet part of the problem is that, as a dedicated and skilled control freak, you are trying fiercely to control sleep. And that doesn't work. Indeed, sleep involves letting go of control, and leting it happen. You may indeed find that if you do all the usual helpful things ( no caffeine or other stimulants after 4 pm, no alcohol, avoiding arousal or stimulation as you approach sleep, comfortable bed, warm milky drinks, ec. ) if you then go to bed and try very hard indeed to stay awake ; not panicking about finding yourself still awake after a few minutes (" "Lordy, I will never every get to sleep, and then I'll mess up everything tomorrow, and then ... and then ") but saying "5 minutes and still aake ? That's NOTHING - let's go for 30 minutes" you may find that you fall asleep while trying to stay awake.
I undersand the impulse to retaliate, but stooping to the level of anyone who might be trying to harm you demeans you and too easily satisfies the bad guys.
If the office really is such a hotbed of intrigue and backbiting, it musty be really, really badly managed. Maybe the others think fo it more as a sport and don't take it all as seriously as you do?
Insomnia is a problem which grows the more attention you pay to it, and fades the more you can ignore it.
Confrontation is over-valued. As Maria says, let this person review your reports and find them splendid, and get bored with the process. And maybe just say calmly, that in your experience its very unusual at this level for such draft reports to be reviewed, you're curious if there is any specific aspect about these that is worrying her, so you can deal with it in advance ?
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