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28 Jul 2005

So sad today
Today i feel at my lowest - i have been trying to fix my head, my thoughts are irrational and negative and I am only thinking about all my problems and insecurities and forgetting about everyone around me.
The thing is that I really have a problem and i'm reading a book on CBT (just started) and I just want my hubby to realise that there is something wrong. So I carry on about it and he says 'its always about you you you'.
I know it is - but at this moment in time i dont have the emotional strength to worry about anyone else and i just need his support.
And I told him that.

Last night we were fighting badly, even violently and we hurt each other. So now today I feel so horrible inside and I cant stop crying. Its not the 1st time something like this has happened and every time nothing changes.
I asked my hubby if we can go to marriage councelling but he doesn't think "some guy" will be able to help us. (and we dont have medical aid to pay for it).

I was thinking of going to a councellor at a church by myself. Maybe that will actually solve most of the problems if I just come right? Then I can be a supportive wife again instead of just taking all the time.

Thats fine - but how do i feel better now? Its SO HARD to change the way I think. Is there any hope?
Answer 341 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Maybe at this stage, it isn't helpful for you to "carry on about it", but simply to tell him that you are experiencing problems with depression, and are tring to sort it out. And consider seeing a counsellor who can work with you on your CBT project . yes, of course there's hope, though changing the way you think from negative and fruitless to positive and fruitful is hard work at first, it gets easier --- and like changing any bad habit, it's worth doing.
Explore what might be available through church counselling. But remember, the aim isn't to brainwash you into becoming a meek and dutiful wife, but a free and positive individual, better able to solve the problems you have have with your husband. If he is evading his share of the responsibility, that doesn't mean you need to take all the blame
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