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14 Dec 2005

so scared to see the family after so long
Hi, my family emigrated to America 3 three years however I decided to stay here to study. I have not seen them since they left and in the three years I have been at University I have put on so much weight, about 30kgs, due to my ongoing feelings of depression, loneliness and despair. It's been so difficult for me to adjust to living in SA without family and the only way I've been able to cope is by consoling myself with food.

My current despair however concerns my fears of having to see my family again in January, I am so scared they will be shocked by how much weight I have put on! I'm so scared they won't even recognise me and also criticise me. I used to be quite sporty before I started Varsity and so I'm sure they'll be even more shocked that I have left myself go so badly.

Perhaps Doc could you please give me some advice as to how I can possibly approach this situation. I am absolutely dreading that airport reunion moment.

Thanks alot xx

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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hi Gemima !
What you describe isn't an uncommon situation. If only food weren't so darn consoling ! More of us would be slim, but, I suppose, unconsoled.
As to the reunion. After 3 years, we all change and look different ( they'll look surprisingly different to you, too ); but I'm sure that they will be so very pleased to see you that they are not going to stop and worry about whether you are a bit larger than you were before. Maybe while you're with them you'll be able to feel more comfortable and confident, and start making realistic plans to lose the unnecessary extra weight.
Deubel's suggestion of sending some pictures by email is a good one if practical, and a passing reference to some weight-gain will also lessen the degree of possible surprise.
And at 3 20 am, it's time you got to bed and some restful sleep, Gemima ! Let us know on your return, or when you get internet access over there, how the reunion goes
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