Ask an expert

30 Nov 2005

some funnies
Got these in an email. Thought you guys might enjoy a laugh - or perhaps just a smile ;)

For anyone who has ever had an appraisal, remember, it could have been
worse. These are actual quotes taken from Government employee performance

1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has
started to dig.

2. I would not allow this employee to breed.

3. This employee is really not so much of a has been, but more of a
definite won't be.

4. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in
a trap.

5. When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.

6. This young lady has delusions of adequacy

7. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve

8. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

9. This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.

10. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all

11. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

12. He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.

13. I would like to go hunting with him sometime.

14. He's been working with glue too much.

15. He would argue with a signpost.

16. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.

17. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.

18. If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other

19. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

20. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.

21. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.

22. Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

23. He's got two brain cells, one is lost and the other is out looking
for it.

24. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

25. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.

26. If you stand close enough to him, you'll hear the ocean.

27. It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

28. One neuron short of a synapse.

29. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he's only gargled.

30. Takes him two hours to watch 60-minutes.

31. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

32. Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't looking
Answer 333 views

01 Jan 0001

,,,,, or, rather, !!!!!
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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