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17 Feb 2004

Son (12) terrified of school
My son aged 12 (in grade 7) are terrified to go to school. He now has asma attacks and bladder problems because of this. He is very moody, agressive and overall very 'cheeky'. I have talked to him and he has told me that: 1) The teacher picks on him. 2) Because he is built very slight, the children bullies him. I have talked to the principal, who had a talk with my son, but it is as though my son do not trust the principal to sort these matters out. We have been having severe financial troubles as well as me remarrying. I think all this has now escalated in so far that he is getting terribly stressed out and are showing signs of depression. He needs help URGENTLY and I do not know how and where! Please help!
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Trudi,
"Helpful" makes some useful suggestions, if a change to a different school is practical. Also, check out, through the school where he is, the availability of counselling through psychologists asociated with the education dept, who ought to understand this sort of problem. Even if he doesn't knwo of the details, he may be feeling some stress through recognizing that you have been stressed about the financial problems and the remarriage,
You say that you have spoken to the school principal, and although your son doesn't trust him to sort things out ( it's not easy for a boy to trust even a very good Headmaster) I gather from that comment that the head has said he WILL sort it out, and perhaps it's worth seeing if he can achieve anything useful, and discussing with him what more can be done. If the head cannot sort this out ( and yes, some teachers can be needlessly unpleasant towards vulnerable students --- interesting how they never pick on the bullies, only the bullied -- ) ten he ought to help both as regards finding psychological counselling help for the boy and potentially a transfer to a friendlier school.
Make sure that your son understands that you recognize that his situation has been unpleasant and that steps are underway to remedy this, and that you don't think anything the less of him.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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