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14 Dec 2004

Starting to feel a bit human again
Morning Guys,

Last night I was feeling really down, and lonely, my ex smsed me again saying sorry and how sad and lonly he was. He still doesn't want to talk to me. I started a journal - got a really pretty one for my b-day- just writing it down has helped a bit, I also found two poems which I find very inspirational and supportive:

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean possession
and company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises and you begin to accept
your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine
burns if you get too much so you plant your
own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn...

Hold on to what is good,
even if it's a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe,
Even if it's a tree that stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do,
Even if it's a long way from here.
Hold on to your life,
Even if it's easier to let go.
Hold on to my hand,
Even if I've gone away from you.

I still have those moments when I feel like I will never be ok again, but this morning I woke up without crying - yay a step in the right direction. Thanks for all the support.
Answer 388 views

01 Jan 0001

Dear VM,
So pleased to hear you had a brighter start to the morning. You WILL be Ok again, and are stepping in the right direction. Keep it up ! Once you're used to being on your own, and enjoying it, you may become in a better position in which to form relationships from a situation of independent security and strength.
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